IT’S ALL HERE AND IT’S ALL HAPPENING — IT’S TIME TO DISCOVER HOW TO DO THE THING!
Your Key to Courageous Action is…
Pause The People Pleaser
One thing’s for sure — you’re the friend who’s always on speed dial.
You’ve always been the pillar of support in your community, the friend who’s always on speed dial, ready to lend a hand or a shoulder to lean on. Your steadfast nature and reliability have made you a beacon of comfort for many. However, this constant giving has sometimes come at the cost of neglecting your own needs, leaving you feeling drained and seeking validation through others’ happiness.
Your realistic outlook on life has been a source of comfort for many, but now it’s time to channel some of that nurturing energy towards yourself. Your top values of acceptance and recognition are indeed admirable, but remember, self-care and self-recognition should be your next priority. It’s essential to break the cycle of overextending yourself for others’ happiness, which can lead to resentment and a loss of self-value.
In both personal and professional spheres, you’ve realized that constantly trying to prevent others from experiencing discomfort or disappointment was an exhausting and unproductive endeavor. It’s vital to understand that people are capable of handling their issues, and you don’t need to bear the burden of fixing everything.
Learning to set boundaries is a crucial step towards fostering healthier relationships and preserving your well-being. It’s about cultivating the courage to say “no” when necessary and focusing on valuing and prioritizing yourself. This shift not only prevents burnout but also encourages a more balanced and reciprocal dynamic in your relationships.
SO HOW DO YOU GET STARTED?
Try the “Do The Thing” Formula on for Size 🧪
Have you ever found yourself wondering why some people seem to have it all? Scratching your head, pondering the secret sauce to their success? While there is no “one size fits all” formula to taking action on your deepest desires, there are mindsets you can adopt. Mindsets that are perfectly suited to you and that will make transforming your dreams into reality a heck of a lot easier.
You’re the person everyone can count on, whether it’s for a fun night out or a comforting chat in the wee hours. Your dedication is evident, and it’s high time you extend the same commitment to yourself. It might be challenging initially, especially when you’re used to prioritizing others, but it’s a necessary shift.
Courageous Action Crux: Harness Your Power Responsibly! responsibility! 💪
You’re the person everyone can count on, whether it’s for a fun night out or a comforting chat in the wee hours. Your dedication is evident, and it’s high time you extend the same commitment to yourself. It might be challenging initially, especially when you’re used to prioritizing others, but it’s a necessary shift.
Why This Shift is Crucial for You
Embarking on new journeys, be it a career change, traveling, or stepping back into the dating scene, doesn’t require perfect timing or circumstances. What it truly demands is courageous action. Your background or social media following doesn’t dictate your success; your willingness to act upon your deep desires does.
Great leaders and humanitarians, like Mother Teresa and Steve Jobs, understood the importance of prioritizing themselves to achieve their goals. They faced their fears, took bold steps, and left remarkable legacies. They prove that taking action, despite imperfections or challenges, can lead to monumental success stories.
So, dare to step forward before you feel entirely ready. Confront your fears and analyze the worst-case scenarios to dissolve uncertainties. Remember, your motivation to achieve your dreams is stronger than any obstacle you might encounter.
Your Value Driven Action Formula
Your Values At A Glance:
Belonging
Inclusion
Loyalty
Generosity
Understanding your core values is essential in pursuing what truly matters to you. Your values encompass belonging, inclusion, loyalty, and generosity, all of which fuel your superpower: selfless generosity. Your unwavering presence brings comfort and safety to others, but it’s vital to invest that energy back into nurturing yourself.
To overcome the fear of prioritizing yourself, ask critical questions to understand your motivations and fears better. Embrace practices that encourage self-prioritization, like indulging in activities that bring you joy without seeking approval, setting firm boundaries, and learning to say “no” without justification.
A Made-For-You Mantra:
“I am still able to help others even if I put myself first. I am safe to pursue the things that serve me.”
Stars Who Share Your Type:
Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey, and Will Smith are shining examples of individuals who have managed to balance personal growth with being there for others. Their journeys showcase the transformative power of self-prioritization, and they serve as inspirations for those looking to embark on a similar path.
But here’s what I’ve discovered: People will figure it out. You don’t need to carry it all and fix it all. I was putting that pressure on myself and it wasn’t even real because people would have been just fine.
And your people will be fine, too!
Perhaps you are taking on all the pressure that doesn’t exist (other than the fact you have created it). You feel like you are the one who must solve the world, not realizing people are capable of figuring things out. As a result, you exhaust and deplete yourself.
Be willing to say no.
Ever take a look around and wonder why some people seem to have it all? Scratching your head wondering what the secret sauce to their success is?
Well, while there is no “one size fits all” formula to taking action on your deepest desires — there are mindsets you can adopt.
Mindsets that are perfectly suited to you and that will make transforming your dreams into reality a heck of a lot easier.
Ready to dive into your unique recipe for action taking success?
✨
Get Ready to Leap Into Action and Finally Say Yes to Doing The Thing ✨
▶️ Press Play for Your Courageous Action Breakdown
You keep giving, and they get used to it then begin to depend on it and expect it.
Instead, if you learn how to set boundaries, you can slowly practice the muscle of self-focus.
It’s about finding your voice and learning to say, “No. I’m not going to do that.”
Consider what this might look like in a relationship. You may have a crush on someone and put your creativity and interest into solving their problems and meeting their needs.
It gives you energy when the other person values your input and efforts. Why? Because you are missing that crucial piece – valuing yourself.
When you haven’t put yourself first, it will eventually trigger that inner gauge that makes you react with anger and sorrow as you realize you are underappreciating yourself.
Your needs are being overlooked, although you may be the one enabling this pattern in the relationship. As a result, a feeling of resentment grows and can wreak havoc in your relationships.
For example, what may seem like an overreaction to the smallest issue in a relationship may actually be a buildup of several things (the straw that broke the camel’s back) combined with a chronic lack of self-value and appreciation.
You’ll notice that you continue to attract the same type of person who drains your energy and goodness, but it’s not even their fault because you are allowing it. Neither of you may be conscious it’s happening.
But stopping this cycle and making a change now is the most crucial thing you can do in this moment to start doing the thing.
The truth of it all? You deserve to know the feeling of going ALL IN on your hopes and dreams. You deserve to put yourself at the top of your priority list.
But in order to =actually feel it, I can’t just tell you — you have to bite the fruit and experience it for yourself…
Which means you must be willing to stop and ask yourself what your motivation is when you are about to do something for someone in sacrifice of yourself.
You need to flex the muscle of prioritizing yourself, making sure YOU show up, your desires and wants, and not just everyone else’s.
Here’s the amazing thing you may not have considered…
By taking care of your needs, wants, and desires, and prioritizing yourself first, those around you will be magnetized by it and lifted up.
You will still have opportunities to do things for others, but not at the expense of yourself.
So the next time you catch yourself trying to take care of someone else before taking care of yourself stop right where you are, take a few deep breaths and remember why you set out to achieve this goal in the first place.
Remind yourself that you are likable, precious to other people, and still belong, even if you take care of yourself.
The truth is, choosing yourself and nurturing others can co-exist harmoniously – and neither one makes you better or worse as a person.✨ Here’s What Your Key To Courageous Action Says About You: ✨
Your practical and dependable nature makes you the ultimate teammate. You’re always the first one to show up and the last to leave, and no one would dare question your level of generosity and dedication — we all know you’ve got this. 😉
You’re a true-blue friend, through and through. The one that can be counted on for a night on the town, a late-night listening ear, or an emergency contact.
Your biggest motivation comes from being a trustworthy individual. You want to be known as someone who can be counted on to solve problems in any situation, and it shows!
There’s no doubt about it — you know how to show up for the people and places that matter…
Now if only you could start doing the same for yourself!
Courageous Action Crux: With all great power comes great responsibility! 💪
In your case, you could stand to show up for your own dreams and desires with the same gumption you do for others!
And dare I say, purge the people pleaser in the process!
Look, nobody’s saying putting yourself first will be easy, especially when you have gotten in the habit of putting others first.
You will find out on the other side that the people who like you will still like you, unless they were just taking advantage of your generosity and kindness in the first place.
It’s painful to find out someone may be taking advantage of you, but it also is a relief when you can release the burden of responsibility you have for others.
*Remember: you are worthy of taking care of yourself first, and it will still benefit others around you.
How you show up is how you attract others.
Once you find out how to take care of yourself, you will find you are surrounded by others who take care of themselves. As a result, you will upgrade your relationships and the type of people in your circles.
So let me tell you why this is so important for YOU.
Cause here’s the thing…
When you’re looking to take on that next thing — whether it’s leaving your 9-5, traveling the world, or choosing to date again…
There will NEVER be a perfect time, perfect circumstance, or perfect person to make it all possible.
And here’s why: doing the thing does not require your conditions to be just right — it only requires one thing…
*COURAGEOUS ACTION*
That’s right. Your location, education, and socioeconomic status don’t matter. Heck, it doesn’t even matter what your social media following count is.
It only matters that you take action. Feel the fear and do it anyway and continue to take that action in the way of what YOU truly desire deep down.
Anyone can make that thing happen. Anyone can make an impact, make the first move, or make money doing what they love.
But it’s not going to happen when you’re sitting in the stands.
Here’s what will work, though:
Remember That YOUR WHY is more powerful than your fear.
I’ll tell you this right now — nothing worth having in this life is going to be a walk in the park. The greatest breakthroughs come after jumping off the proverbial cliff.
In fact, some of the greatest humanitarians of our time put themselves first and took action before they were ready.
These are generous people who have helped others so much. But the source of the energy they used to do this was ensuring they took care of themselves first before taking care of others.
They didn’t have all the confidence in the world, the ideal tools, or all the answers – but what they did have was the confidence to know they would still be liked and accepted, even if they took care of themselves first.
They did not sacrifice their biggest goals and had the COURAGE to do it anyway.
They chose boldly to put themselves first, look their fear straight in the eye, and trust they would still be able to help others without sacrificing their own needs.
Some of the greatest leaders of our time put themselves first.
Millions of people wanted to meet with Mother Teresa and she wouldn’t meet with them until they gave to her cause.
She said, “Why would I meet with you for free? I have stuff to do!” (Or something like that!)
As a result, some people called her two-faced. But others knew that she understood the value of her time. And look at the legacy she left!
Steve Jobs did the thing when he started Apple from his garage. Oprah Winfrey did the thing even as everyone around her told her she’d never make it in television.
These humble beginnings of feeling the fear and doing it anyway, have wound up being some of the greatest success stories of our time.
All because they were willing to take action in the face of adversity or imperfection.
At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that you took a step towards the person you know deep down you are, and the dreams you know you can achieve.
Go before you’re ready.
If going before you’re ready still feels a little bit scary, ask yourself this:
“What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
Risk assessment can help you identify the fear and the perceived roadblocks created by your mind.
Fear can only live in uncertainty. When you ask what the worst possible outcome could be, the uncertainty has space to become certain.
Take some time to visualize the worst possible scenario and watch as some of that fear of getting started dissolves.
Dive in and Do The Thing with…
Your Value Driven Action Formula
Because why bother doing the things you want if you don’t know WHY you’re doing it?!
Your Values At A Glance:
Belonging
Because what’s life without friends, family, and community? 🙌
Inclusion
Someone would always be considering how to you fit in their plan 💃
Loyalty
There’s not a dang promise that you intend on breaking…ever. ❤️
Generosity
By giving you are receiving.🤲
Your Superpower Strength:
SELFLESS GENEROSITY
There’s no question — giving up is just not an option for you. Someone calls in sick for work? You’re there at the drop of a hat. Need to stay up late to help a friend finish a project? Just show you the caffeine!
When your community comes a knockin’, you’re there with bells on. Your value comes from knowing you’ve been the best friend you could be — loyal, dependable, and as steady as it gets.
Your consistency makes you someone who can be trusted in almost any situation. Your steadfast ways even inspire strangers to share how “safe” they feel around you — there’s just something about your presence that makes others feel more at ease.
Your superpower undoubtedly lies in your capacity to be there for others.
But what do you really need to watch for? How much of that energy are you investing back into yourself? And how willing are you to step outside of your comfort zone to make things happen for YOU without worrying about what everyone else around you needs?
Can you keep going even when someone else doesn’t like it?
Your dependability is like a double-edged sword. You take a certain amount of comfort in being the grounded one — the one your friends and family can count on.
But when it comes to taking chances on your own hopes and dreams? You don’t take action as quickly or confidently because you aren’t accustomed to doing things for yourself.
Or you hesitate because you think if you put yourself first, that will make other people view you as selfish, or make someone else not like you. *Insert fear response here!*
You see, it’s safer for you to be the voice of reason — to shine the spotlight on someone else and their story.
For the people pleaser, the fear of failing at your own goals is far greater than pouring into the plans of another.
So, what’s the remedy? Ask yourself a few important questions…
- Can I be bold enough to put my own needs before the needs of another?
- Can I trust that every perceived failure is actually just another step towards my destiny?
- Can I still feel accepted even if I’m not the person who is helping someone else?
- I am still trying to decide if its fear that comes up with the people pleaser , so open to thoughts here
- Feel the fear when it comes up and ask it, “What are you trying to teach me?” and, “How are you trying to protect me right now?” and “Can I let it go?”
And then remember WHY you set out to do this thing to begin with.
When the fear gets loud, remind yourself by doing something for yourself.
Stick to doing what is important to you and not because you think or perceive others need it.
Think about how good it’s going to feel when you reach the top of that mountain! Your reason for taking action is so much more powerful than the obstacles that stand in your way.
Remember that your tendency to people please is mostly about belonging. You want to please others so that you feel like you belong. But it’s warped because you can’t fully belong unless you’re being true to yourself.
People pleasing is about feeling safe and feeling like you are enough without needing to prove it.
But the true freedom and safety is only going to come when you stop living for others and start courageously carving your OWN path.
And if you forget how to prioritize yourself, here are some anti-people-pleasing practices for you…
1.) Do something for yourself that brings you pleasure/joy/fulfillment and justify it to no one.
Don’t ask permission, don’t give an in-depth reason (to the degree that you can, of course. If it involves a lot of money or doing something with the kids, etc., then it might have to involve a partner or co-parent.
This practice is about wanting to do something just for you and doing it!
2.) Flex the muscle of setting a boundary and speaking your truth.
First, this involves identifying your boundary and sticking to it, no matter what – even if fear creeps in or you worry someone won’t like you.
Choose your boundary and yourself over pleasing others, even if it might upset people.
3.) Say no. It’s shockingly simple, but scary for a people pleaser. There is a feeling you are going to disappoint others. It’s an unspoken pressure – but the other person isn’t putting the pressure on you; it’s coming from you!
If someone asks you to do something for them, first, pause and check in with yourself. Do you feel a check in your gut or a sense that you should say no? Voice it without justifying it.
Remember that “No” is a complete sentence.
The ultimate practice here is that you do not abandon yourself.
A Made-For-You Mantra:
“I am still able to help others even if I put myself first. I am safe to pursue the things that serve me.”
Stars Who Share Your Type:
Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey, and Will Smith
Your Do The Thing Pod Therapy
Check out this ultra-inspiring episode of the Do The Thing Podcast and learn how Do The Thing Expert Dr. Nancy De Andrade discovered and overcame her inner people pleaser..
Because what’s the best medicine for anyone feeling crippled by the fear of going all in on themselves? Understanding how to debunk the inner people pleaser.
In this episode, Dr. Nancy discusses the shadow side of the people pleaser persona and all the ways this personality type is often misunderstood.
Learn how prioritizing yourself and learning to say “no” makes all things possible when doing the thing.
Remember, anyone can “do the thing” – the key action here is in the doing.
KNOW YOURSELF SO YOU CAN GROW YOURSELF:
Do The Thing by…
Knowing Your Do’s and Don’ts
The path to clarity means knowing your why, and your why not.
Understanding what works for you, and what doesn’t will make the path to your next thing a smooth one. Keep these in your back pocket so you know what’s a “go” in your world, and when it’s time to pause and reflect.
GO FOR IT
✔️ Adopt a “me-first” approach. This doesn’t mean others are left out; it just means you are taking care of yourself first.
✔️ Lean on your people! You’re a master in the friendship department — so let your pals return the favor, would you?! Ask for support, seek accountability, or share your goals out loud with your people so you can feel supported along the way.
✔️ Understand where you are coming from! Are you giving to give yourself value or self-worth? Or pleasing at a cost to yourself?
✔️If you fear that people won’t be happy if you don’t do the things you do for them, ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that could happen here if I don’t do what I think the other person needs or wants?”
✔️What do you rob from someone else when you try to do whatever it is that the person needs done for them (responsibility, accountability, dignity, integrity, independence)?
✔️ Are you willing to move forward with what you want to do even if someone else doesn’t express pleasure over it?
PAUSE AND REFLECT
✗ Quit the need to want to fix everyone around you, or to make things easy for someone else, until you have actually checked in on yourself with what your motives are.
Before you give, stop and take a breath. Ask yourself your reason for wanting to give and be straight with yourself.
Is it giving you energy to that person, or taking energy from you? At the end do you feel energized or a strange sense of depletion? Don’t give into the knee jerk reaction to please someone else as fast as possible.
✗ Don’t displace your priorities.! Constantly showing up for the needs of others is only distracting you from the life you’re looking to create. Put your own needs first by practicing boundaries with others. Say no when you feel depletion set in, and be selfish in the pursuit of what you want.
✗ Quit the glass half empty approach. Your negative mind can be pretty tough to tend with — when you feel the pessimism set in, ask yourself “what if it all works out?”
Do The Things You Really Want With Your Personalized “Do The Thing” Life Hack
Wouldn’t it be great to know exactly what blueprint or formula you should tap into before setting out to chase your goals?
The mindset that would allow you to chase that dream, take that leap, or leave that story behind for good?
The one that would free you to live your life connected to your dream state and allow you to create with ease?
You know the one I’m talking about…
It lives somewhere in the cobwebs of your subconscious mind.
And some part of you knows that if you could finally bring it forward — maybe *just maybe* you could do the things you’ve always dreamed of doing.
Here’s the thing: Doing the thing is going to look different for everyone, in different seasons of life. Sometimes it might look like taking a BIG leap into a new chapter. Sometimes it might look like making a small change to your daily routine to help you feel better.
The point is not to put so much pressure on yourself to get these things done, but to plug into your “why” and adopt the right formula or blueprint to help you get there effortlessly.
So ask yourself this question…
What do you *actually* want from this one life? 🤔
Seems like a pretty basic question, right?
But if you really start looking around, you’ll find that lots of people (at some point or another) have no idea what it is they truly want from life.
Can you relate to this? Here are a few clues as to why:
- You’re a recovering people pleaser and spend all your time tending to the needs of others. Who has time to soul search when they’re at the beck and call of, well… everyone?!
- You are too busy with work and the demands of life to ever give yourself a chance to think big.
Or…
- … Maybe you’re just too wrapped up in the distractions of life to even slow down for a hot second, and consider: “what the heck do I actually value and want from my life?”
Why is all of this so important?!
↓
When you don’t live your life by your own rules, you live by the rules of another…
…And what a scary thought that is!
Not knowing where you stand in life means you’re that much more vulnerable to another person’s agenda.
You wind up with weak boundaries and weaker values.
You wind up being stuck in a marriage you feel trapped by.
You wind up staying in a job you can’t stand.
Or you resent the fact that your entire life feels like it’s not your own.
And you’re not alone in this. SO many people end up here — a quintessential doormat. For no fault of their own other than they don’t know any better. 🤷♀️
It’s Time To Change That Now 💯
You deserve to live a life that leaves you feeling free. One where you and only you are in the driver’s seat — calling the shots and living 100% in alignment with your true desires and dreams.
You deserve to wake up every morning and know that the life you are creating is uniquely and unequivocally YOURS.
…whether that means finally gaining the courage to leave that old relationship to seek out a partner that you truly want.
…or if it means mustering up the courage to write that book, take that trip, or start that pottery course you’ve been dreaming of.
Whatever the case may be, you’re 100% worth the work it takes to do the thing.
So don’t be afraid to listen to that voice inside you telling you that you are capable of more.
Listen to the part of you that knows there are more chapters to be written.
And don’t miss out on the opportunity to take the most critical step in getting there — the first one.
Because I’m going to be honest with you — anyone can forge a new path and set out to do the things they really want. But it’s not going to come without some discipline, action, and accountability.
You can say in your mind over and over how much you want to make those dreams happen in your life. The reality is: nothing changes unless something changes.
And change means you’ll have to cultivate inner strength, just like when you lift weights at the gym. Inner strength and discipline is just like a muscle — if you don’t use it, you lose it!
Know that you can start small. Build trust with yourself. Make promises to yourself that you can actually keep. Each time you flex that accountability muscle, you build internal strength that will help you move mountains!
Consider this your chance to BE that change that you want to see in your life. It’s time to take that step towards full accountability and creation of your one precious life.
And I’m about to help you get there.
You’re about to get a birds-eye view of the proven Do The Thing Formula — so you can say “I’M GAME” and take a leap into the life you’ve always wanted.
It’s time to build a life that aligns with your dream and no one else’s.
To show up as the person you were born to be.
Ready to Uncover Your Unique Do The Thing Life Hack?
It’s Happening In 3…2…1… 🎉
– Your DTT Life Hack –
Let Go So You Can Flow
UNAPOLOGETICALLY PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
It’s time for a real honest moment here, friend — how many times are you going to put other people’s needs and priorities before your own?
How many times are you going to minimize your own priorities compared to someone else’s?
How many reasons are you going to find to help someone’s challenges, goals and dreams while your own dreams sit on the back burner?
Sure, helping other people may make you feel counted and valued in this moment. But, if you look five years down the road into the future, will all of the time and effort you put into doing things for others help you reach your goals?
Ask yourself: “Where is this going to lead in the future for ME?”
When you people please, youcan deplete yourselfbecause you are covering for other people, making excuses for them, it seems easy to help the person (but it’s at a cost to yourself.)
Are you afraid someone is going to call you selfish, or you will disappoint someone, or hurt them if you don’t continue your people pleasing ways?
Your need for validation and love (and perhaps an unconscious fear of abandonment) pushes you to stretch yourself to exhaustion.. You don’t realize you did it until you feel depleted and wondering where the energy went
…and this can show up in so many ways (some pretty sneaky ones at that.) That guilt – putting others first, can take your essence right out of you.
You don’t do that next thing you want to do telling yourself that it’s just not ready to come out of hiding.
…that it’s just fine sitting in the comfort zone.
…that it’s happy living for the needs of others.
…that it’s (*insert self-fulfilling prophecy here*)
You catch my drift?
So how are you supposed to surrender and release the feeling of this compulsion and start listening to the quiet whisper of your soul’s deepest desire?
Keep reading…
The #1 thing you can do for yourself?
Let Your WHY Lead The Way
Okay, okay — I realize that this is a lot easier said than done. Especially because if it were easy, then (duh) we’d all be doing it.
But I’m telling you: take this on as a daily practice and watch your life completely transform before your eyes.
Your WHY is like your north star. It’s your reason for waking up in the morning, and it’s the anchor that will keep you grounded when the doubt sets in — because your “why” knows what’s on the other side of that fear and will help you stay the course.
Does your “why” rest upon pleasing others, first? If yes, then make sure that’s not your first action. Maybe it’s not the right action for you, at all.
Just check in with your why. People pleasing might just be a habit that’s gotten ingrained in your psyche
…and doing the thing might be the key to breaking it
That might mean saying NO to someone instead of saying YES.
The point is, executing your future based on your WHY might be EXCLUSIVE instead of inclusive. And that will be okay.
I know, I know, the mind has about a million questions by now…
But what if I told you that you could be your own best gift to yourself? Your own best friend? Your own best rescuer, savior, do-gooder.
What if putting yourself first and pleasing yourself first was the one thing you hadn’t tried that could deliver the most riches? What if the person who would most appreciate your giving self and giving ways was YOU?
Do yourself a favor will you?
Let yourself be unapologetic in the pursuit of your best lived life. Take the leap, make the phone call, do the thing!
You might be surprised at how quickly the flow picks up, and how much more often you find yourself in just the right place at the right time.
– Let’s Break It Down –
Action Is the Key Ingredient for Success
SAYING “I’M GAME” = DO THE THING
Word of wisdom from the business world? ⇒ Nothing happens until you sell something.
In the broader context of your life, this means that nothing happens (not the business you want to start or that trip around the world) until you’re willing to do the work. To take action — no matter how small, just take a step.
So many people think they have to have big dreams. And while it’s great to think big, it can come with a sense of overwhelm!
Can you relate?
But let me tell you this — you don’t have to know how all the pieces of the puzzle will fit together at the end of the day. In fact, you can have a “rough draft” of what you want, without ever needing to know how it will all shake out.
Clarity comes with *action*. You don’t need to have it all figured out — the path reveals itself with every step you’re willing to take. Just take one step at a time.
A dream will remain a dream — the New Year’s resolutions you write out each year will continue to collect dust until you gather the courage and stamina to just… start!
I know, I know — overwhelm is real. The top of the mountain seems dishearteningly high when you’re way down at the bottom.
But let me tell you this…
I used to think that getting to where I am today was impossible…
There was a time where I was stuck inside a life that no longer felt like mine. I was flailing around looking for anything I could grab onto to keep me from drowning. I couldn’t see just how capable I truly was of creating the things I wanted in life.
But, even though there were moments that felt insurmountable, I knew that if I could just gather the gumption to take a step in the right direction — I’d somehow be okay.
And I was more than okay. In fact, I learned that with a little structure, commitment, and a whole lot of faith, I could do pretty much anything I set my mind to in this life…
…and so can you!
SO I’VE BROKEN IT DOWN
With The Do The Thing Formula
This transformative formula is designed to give you the framework you need to pursue those burning desires. Keep this one close as you navigate the waters of your next goal and watch as the magic really unfolds…
So how about it?
Let’s get started by diving into the following Pillars:
1.
IDENTIFY THE “WHY” ✨
When you think about that “big why” for wanting to do the thing, consider it something that’s purposeful. Something you were born to do here on this earth. It should feel like it’s worth your time and effort — even worth your birth.
When it comes to leaping into action around the things you want to do, it’s not about where you’re going, but where you’re coming from.
Check in with yourself:
Am I giving enough to me, first? Am I sure I’m caring for the vessel of this pursuit? If you aren’t taken care of, neither is your dream.
Am I doing this for me or to please others? Am I making this decision from fear or authenticity?
Why is this goal SO important to me?
What would achieving this bring to my life and to the lives of those I care about?
Am I overthinking, or am I in my body? You know it’s the right thing when it touches your heart, not your mind.
How do I want to feel when I achieve this?
Who can benefit from what I offer?
Your vision is your ideal future and because we are all in this together, your vision is the ideal future for all of the people who are waiting for what you bring to the world.
Building up your energy reserve and sense of fulfillment from the infinite energy of your purpose will not only give you what you need, but will serve as an oasis for others when you are in the mode of serving.
So you get to pause the people pleaser and play the people tickler.
If you’re doing the thing for the wrong reasons, you might not get the results you really want.
Do the thing dare:
Try this: carve out 15 minutes from your day to sit with the above questions. Give yourself permission to get crystal clear on YOUR reason for doing what you want to do.
And then take it a step further…
Do 3 small things each day that are for YOU and you only. Take note of how these things make you feel.
Do you feel a sense of guilt? Or can you feel a hit of liberation? The point here is to be in action around what YOU need and want, and to track the way it makes you feel over time.
Small steps taken each day is the medicine here! No one is asking you to ditch the pleaser overnight, but prioritizing yourself as a practice will make all the difference.
2.
MINDSET
I’m not just talking about saying positive affirmations (cause that will only take you so far.) Your affirmations must help you admit that pleasing yourself has to come before all others.
… I’m talking about identifying the roadblocks that stop you from doing the thing. Rewiring your mind so you don’t find yourself stuck in the same old pattern that limits you.
…I’m talking about finding out how pleasing you helps the world around you, and is a service to what and who you care most about.
Your mindset is so important.
Because if you allow your mindset to remain unchanged; stuck in an old habit of “doing for others” , you’ll never see the riches that can come from putting on your life vest first.
Remember that a balance of self-centeredness and other-centeredness is a good thing.
So what kind of mindset do you need to help you let others work out their problems, solve their own crisis points, and do their own work?
Do you have a strong connection to your mind? Can you identify when you’ve been jumping to please others too quickly, without making sure you’ve got the energy or time to do it?
Does people pleasing keep you small and stuck on the sidelines of your life?
Are you aware of when your desire to please others outweighs your desire to be pleased, yourself?
Some questions to shift your mindset:
Who do I want to please, and why?
- Is there any harm in making sure I’m satisfied, first?
- What would it feel like to feel nourished and taken care of by me? What kind of feeling would I have if I gave to myself first?
- What am I really afraid of?
- Where am I letting my past predict my future?
- What’s the worst possible outcome here?
- What would be possible if I could debunk my limiting beliefs?
Remember: energy flows where attention goes! If you constantly think things aren’t going your way, you might risk creating more of that in your life.
Do the thing dare:
Write out your “monthly mindset mantras.” This could look like:
- “I am safe to prioritize my own needs.”
- “My needs matter more than the needs of others.”
- “No is a complete sentence.”
Each time you feel your inner pleaser taking the wheel, turn towards these mantras to shift your mindset back to YOU. Post them on your mirror, or somewhere highly visible so you can always be reminded.
*BONUS* dare:
Ask someone you know well to tell you about a time when you gave to yourself and how happy it made that person feel to see you take care of yourself. Feeling that sense of validation from someone you love and respect could be just the push you need to keep going.
3.
GOALS
Now this might not be what you want to hear…
… but nothing’s going to happen without an aim.
And nothing worth aiming at will happen in your comfort zone.
To truly squeeze the most out of this life, you’ve got to have at least a “rough draft” idea of where you’re trying to go.
And you have to be willing to get a little uncomfortable in the name of bringing that vision to life.
Since you love being generous and helping someone else, be sure to include it in your goal.
How does that fit in without draining your reserves? It doesn’t have to be structured, but it can be articulated. This part of your goal setting can help you anticipate your weakness and keep it working for you as a strength.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What legacy are you looking to leave behind?
- How will you move towards your goal even if someone doesn’t agree? Even if someone expresses some displeasure?
- How will you ensure you use your time directed at your goal, and catch yourself when you use that precious resource in a way that really doesn’t move you forward?
- What is the ultimate vision you hold for your life?
- How do you want to feel in your day to day life?
- What milestones can you have on the journey to your goal that demonstrate your generosity to yourself and others? How do these milestones remind you that the outcome of your goal will be good for everyone?
- Are you willing to push yourself if it means fully experiencing the things you really want?
Do the thing dare:
Brainstorm up to 3 goals you can set for yourself that are still for YOU, but do not compromise your value of generosity. Is there something you really want to achieve that would feel mutually beneficial for you and someone you love?
Maybe you’ve been wanting to surprise a loved one with a trip to Europe. Or maybe you’ve been dreaming about a collaborative project that you and a colleague can both benefit from.
Once you’ve written these out, write out 3 commitments to self that will keep you at the top of your priority list.
4.
ACCOUNTABILITY 🤝
And I’m not just talking about lip service here…
I’m talking about making promises to yourself that you will actually commit to keeping.
How are you setting yourself up to achieve your goals successfully?
Who’s holding you accountable?
Do you have a mentor?
Who can you turn to on those harder days when the motivation just isn’t there?
You can make plans all you want, but accountability is what’s going to get you where you want to go.
And if you’re overwhelmed, start small! Take it one step at a time — sign up for the thing you want to do, join that challenge, whatever you do, just start.
Do the thing dare:
Get yourself an accountability buddy! Be it a mentor or a friend — find someone that you can confide in weekly to keep you on track.
Remember, you know all of your blindspots, AND you also know all the escape routes, excuses, justifications (you name it) that will keep you in those blindspots.
This is why you need to constantly check in with someone who can call you out when you need it.
Some tips to keep in mind when working with a mentor/accountability buddy:
- Be honest! Nobody wins if you’re not willing to be honest with yourself and another. Telling your mentor that you’ve been on track, when really you’ve been wearing yourself thin working for others is only going to cheat yourself.
- Be specific! Decide on tangible actions that your mentor can hold you accountable to.
- Maybe you share what your 3 “nos” were that week.
Or what acts of self care you committed towards yourself.
Whatever the case may be, try to be as specific and action oriented as possible.
And finally, celebrate your wins together! Part of what makes working with a mentor so worth it is that you get to celebrate your success along the way. Make sure to carve out space to pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
If you got off track, forgive yourself, take accountability and move forward with new clarity on how you can redirect.
5.
MY PEOPLE 🙌
You know the saying: “if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
Strong people in your corner means you’re that much more likely to move towards the things you really want.
Do you know who your people are, and how to connect with them?
Do you surround yourself with people who do the same things as you? People who actually want the same things as you?
Who are the people who recovered from pleasing people and took chances on their own authentic needs and wants?
Who has gone before they were ready?
Who has courageously gone ALL in on their hopes and dreams, even if they were terrified to fail in the process?
Who’s just *one* step ahead of where you want to be?
Find the people who are overcoming their deepest fears and taking it one step at a time.
Do the thing dare:
Get out there! Go to a networking event, join a challenge, or do something out of your comfort zone where you can find those people that are doing the same thing you want to do.
Make sure that it’s for YOU and you only. Remember that the more authentic you are, the more you’ll attract the right people into your field that are on the same path
6.
EDUCATE 📚
Knowledge = power!
And once you know what you’ve been yearning for, it’s time to set yourself up with the skills it will take to get there.
Nobody knows everything, and almost everything out there, you can learn.
The question is…
Do you ask the right questions, use your resources, and gain the right tools?
Do you take advantage of the courses, mentorships, or any other learning materials available to you?
Want to learn something you see someone else doing? Ask!
Remember, even if you’re just 3 steps ahead of someone else, you’re practically an expert to them! Never underestimate the power of new information and education.
Do the thing dare:
Learn from someone and pass it on!
Don’t wait till you are the expert to teach what it is you know *right now.*
Chip away at your doubt by diving right in! Teach the thing you have learned — remember even if you are just a few steps ahead of someone they have a lot they can learn from you.
Got something that you can do unlike anyone else? Maybe you have a secret knack for computer programming, or you’re an all star pianist. Whatever the case may be, if there’s a talent you’ve been hiding to remain a people pleaser, it’s time to bust it out and teach others.
How did that go? Feel like you’re ready to put some of this work into *action*?
Reminder: all of this is meant to be a process, and you’re about to use all that information to live in alignment with what matters to you the most…
And don’t forget, this is a framework! It’s something you can come back to anytime you need to dust off your inner action taker and get down to it.
–Your Value Refresher–
Questions To Reveal Your Big “Why”
BECAUSE YOU GOTTA KNOW WHERE YOU’RE COMING FROM TO GET WHERE YOU’RE GOING
Say Hello To Your North Star Values 🌟
Your values reveal your deepest motivations. They show you pretty quickly what drives your decisions in life.
Below are some questions to help you get there:
(*Pro-tip* Try writing your answers out on a separate piece of paper, so you can revisit them later)
- What is most important to me?
- What do I love to do with my time?
- What are my natural gifts and talents?
- What can I not live without?
- What do my peers most recognize me for?
Notice anything jumping out at you?
Notice how it’s not so much the things you “ought” to do, but the things you actually love doing that point to what you really value?
Now see if you can spot a couple of words that might better describe the answers you came up with. Do you love helping people? Maybe service is your value — try a couple on and see what fits!
Now what would it look like to honor those values? How would your life change if you let them guide your actions?
LOOK TO THE ONES YOU LOOK UP TO 💖
The ones we admire have clues to give us…
They show us who we strive to be and what qualities we look to embody.
Think of someone you admire and choose five words that describe them…
Do this a few times, and you’ll be moving from your north star values in no time.
“So Who’s the Coach Behind The Curtain?”
Allow Me To Introduce Myself…
Now that we know each other a little better, let me formally introduce myself…
I’m Stacey Lauren 
CEO, founder, author, podcaster, and true serial entrepreneur.
I’m also the founder of Do The Thing — a multimedia platform that helps people accomplish their big scary goals, move through change, and tackle life’s changes with the DO The Thing Formula.
This process is tried, tested and true. I’ve seen it help people overcome huge obstacles and self limiting beliefs (time and time again) — so they can live into their highest expression in all facets of life!
After spending decades working in the staffing industry, (removing bottlenecks and growing businesses), I learned one key thing that I carry with me to this day:
There are so many different ways you can achieve your best life — but to do it, you have to get out of the stands and take action!
You can’t sit around waiting for life to happen — you just have to get out there and Do The Thing!
During my time working in the staffing industry, I also learned a ton about rejection, resiliency, leadership, and how to build a solid foundation of work ethic that would allow me to become a leader not only in my industry, but in my life.
After years of hard work, I went on to co-found and scale a successful staffing agency — building high-touch relationships to resolve the disconnect between employers and job seekers.
But let’s not go too far down memory lane. I want to tell you how all of these years refining the art of human connection got me right here, living what I believe to be the dream.
All of my experiences taught me something so valuable and rich — and I now get to inspire others to do the same…
Ever stay in a relationship too long? A job or business? I’ve been there.
You see, after finding myself in a bit of an identity crisis (*insert divorce, exiting my company, and looking to forge a new path*), I knew it was time to get uncomfortable.
I needed to start dating and soul searching again, and doing the uncomfortable work of getting vulnerable.
…and let me tell you, it was far from easy.
But you know what I found in the midst of all that discomfort? I found what my heart was truly asking for — underneath all that programming, mind chatter and external pressure.
And once I felt it, I knew I just couldn’t keep my dreams buried any longer. It was time.
But… how? How could I create what I really wanted for my life?
How could I get out of my comfort zone, create something new, and not waste precious decades of my life being stuck in the same patterns and getting the same results?
That’s when I got curious. Curious about how other people had finally done the thing they longed to do.
…and that’s exactly how the “Do The Thing” podcast came to be.
Here’s the thing: You know what’s really in your heart. The thing that would make all the difference in the world if you could just say it out loud and bring it to life.
Some of us promise ourselves that someday we’ll go for it. We wait for the day we have enough time, enough money, enough willpower or support or courage or connections to give us a fighting chance at doing the thing.
I’m here to tell you that today is your day.
Don’t wait another minute to do the things you’ve been waiting your whole life to do! Now that you’re here, I’ll be right there next to you with support, resources, and actionable steps to help you to stop waiting and start “doing the thing.”
⇓ KEEP READING FOR TOOLS AND PERSONALIZED RESOURCES TO HELP YOU LEAP INTO ACTION⇓
Curated Resources to Help You Ditch the Discomfort and Say “I’m Game” To Do The Thing
Tune Into The Do The Thing Podcast
Sometimes all it takes is a little inspiration to kick-start your deepest desires. Tune in (and prepare to be wowed) by the incredible lineup of entrepreneurs, community servants, and fearless leaders who courageously did the thing. You’ll also get to time in to some amazing industry experts and panels for challenges! 
Join The “Do The Thing Singles Community
Because nothing quite gets you out of your comfort zone like meeting new people, getting vulnerable, and finding new ways to connect! 
The Do the the Thing Singles community is where I run challenges for singles looking to get out of their comfort zone and make those connections.
This challenge is so useful, even if you’re not in the market for new love. It’s a powerful experiment in trying new things, while getting to meet amazing people along the way.
Join The “Do The Thing Challenge”
If you’re looking for a space that will keep you plugged into your inner action taker — this is it! Join the group so you can be in the know of upcoming challenges, while connecting to an incredible and supportive community of like-minded people.
Connect With Me On Linkedin
Looking to connect? Want to become a guest on the podcast? Head on over to Linkedin and join the conversation. 